Windows 8: The Animated Evaluation

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When I had some free time to take a look at Windows 8, I realized that I couldn’t be impartial. The thing blows, and in this cartoon illustration, I show exactly why.

Contains naughty words, and graphic employee ID card violence.

My background is in tech journalism and B2B tech marketing. I’d love to produce one of these videos for your company – contact brian.boyko@gmail.com if you’re interested. I also do live video in the Austin area.

29 Comments

  1. To everyone who complaining about the start menu yeah it sucks download the Windows 7 menu my mums friend gave me and her a Windows 10 laptop which was a Windows 7 laptop that got upgraded it had the Windows 7 menu and you could access the Windows 10 menu from the Windows 7 menu if you wanted to

  2. Windows 1: Failure but worked well.
    Windows 2: Better than Windows 1 but was still a commercial flop.
    Windows 3.1: Revolutionized the market for PC's and introduced new features that made it a success.
    Windows 95: Introduced a user-friendly start button and was a commercial success.
    Windows 98: The greatest success in history. Channel Bar was added in which made searching for online TV much easier.
    Windows ME: Supposed to be revolutionized, but crumbled under bad press and lack of stability. Last DOS system.
    Windows 2000: Ended the 9x series and started the NT only revolution (Yes, there were NT workstations but those also ran off of DOS).
    Windows XP: The most greatest operating system on the planet, although bad press stumbled due to old hardware compatible with the Windows 9x series (95 and below).
    Windows Vista: Beautiful OS, although bad press stumbled around due to "Vista Certified" prebuild systems that didn't meet system requirements (A.K.A 2 GB of RAM, usually a 1 GHz CPU). Also, system requirements were very low for Vista. But, system issues fixed in SP2.
    Windows 7: Proved to be better than XP and Vista. Did very good and actually made another revolution in the gaming market.
    Windows 8: Despite being upset and hated by many (including me), had many new features that Windows has never had before.
    Windows RT: An OS designed for those who had ARM CPUs, which ran only apps compiled for the Advanced RISC algorithm. Very big marketing flop (Many people bought this thinking it was better.) Revolutionized the market for ARM.
    Windows 8.1: Fixed previous issues that Windows 8 had and started to make (some) people happy, but many were still upset by the start button.
    Windows 10: "Last" version of Windows. Brought back the Start Menu integrated with Metro, which looked beautiful and didn't look like an OS focused around the mobile market. This also had a Pro version with a rediculous RAM limit (2 TB of RAM, that's alot!).
    Windows 10 S: Brought Windows RT back instead letting you run Win32 apps only in the Store. May revolutionize the education market.

    All OS facts are unbiased.

  3. Windows 10 is a 25% improvement over Windows 8, but it's still unusable. If Microsoft doesn't pull their dick out of the pooch this decade, the board of directors are going to have to cut their losses and Microsoft will have to get out of OS design. It's insane how such a mighty company can turn to the dark side and be systematically dismantled from the inside out so quickly.

  4. I found out the reason there is no key is that the key is embedded in the bios, so you install Windows, and during installation it detects the key and skips asking you to enter it. Then when you connect to the internet it automatically activates.

  5. you can not find files in windows , you can not run programs in windows, the only thing you can do is buy from the window store,it auto goes there, windows cut all the file extensions.

  6. Dear Windows, If I wanted a PC OS with a friken phone/tablet UI I would have just gotten a damn phone/tablet. I don't like MacOS but at least they never made me this mad. If it's possible to feel insulted by an OS, Windows 8 has done it. Congratulations.

  7. I think I commented on this like three years ago. Here we are all this time later, and all this Microsoft hype later, and Windows 8 still blows.
    Bought a new HP laptop I think in 2012 and only in the last month did I (fingers crossed) work the final usability problem out. I've mostly used it as a backup.
    Pretty stupid.

  8. Conveyance is the first thing Win 8 misses. It's fucking bullshit trying to find a specific file, and the ads on the shitty "start menu" are just fucking insane. Not to mention the actual design of the "start menu" itself is shit. It's just 200000 fucking squares, how would that look good to anyone?

  9. +Ryuzaki Ryuga (Rachel) It accidentially clicked on an email address in my web browser and Windows 8.1 assumed I wanted to write a mail to that address with the outlook app with I don't remember having installed ever. The computer blue screened during the popup of the app. Windows 8.1 never started again, blue screen, Windows repair could not repair it, the installation was dead!
    And all I had done was accidentially click on an email address. This was Oct 2015.
    Back to Windows 7 Ultimate.

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